outside of the Squares- notes on 'Perfectionism'
This post was taken from Instagram, which is very much like a blog to me at times. The "Outside of the Squares" series is meant to give an honest, unfiltered look at life as a creative entrepreneur- less filtered curation, and more realness.
Where do I even begin? This weekend was so full, in schedule and in spirit. We had a photoshoot in the studio on Saturday, shooting content for the website. Our website has been ‘under construction’ for quite some time now, and the bones are up there, but it’s nowhere near done. It’s sorely in need of a more complete sense of what Swell Press is, an easier user experience, a gallery of work we’ve done, and new images of the studio, the process, and <gasp> me - this weekend being dedicated to the latter. For a while I had barely a site- just a few images and a contact page. After a few years of that, there was an under construction landing page for a few weeks, which let’s face it, I probably would have been more comfortable leaving that up there than putting something out now that isn’t ‘perfect.’ My struggle with perfectionism is probably one of my biggest hurdles in achieving anything- I’d rather not do anything than put something out that I don’t feel is 100% ready. I remember starting the website years ago was so difficult for me- it just didn’t look the way I wanted it to, it wasn’t sleek with cohesive branding and beautiful photos like the established businesses I’d compare myself to. My husband kept pushing me to just put something out there, ANYTHING, reminding me that ‘SOMETHING that is imperfect is better than nothing that is perfect.” I constantly try to remember that little nugget of wisdom as I pause with fearful hesitation before hitting share on anything- nothing will ever be perfect. So eff it. It is what it is, and I’m doing the best I can. If it isn’t received well, as long as I’m being true to myself, my values, and did the best I could- then who cares. If I look back in a few months or years and embarrassed by it, that just means I’ve progressed.
I never really looked deeper into my ‘perfectionism’ and almost wore it like a badge of honor, before a wise woman informed me that perfectionism is deeper than that- it’s a fear of failure (which I’ll lovingly call FOF). It seems so obvious but funny enough I never made the connection between the two (me? fearful? never!). It totally grounded it for me- as someone who considers herself somewhat bold in the paths I take, I certainly won’t let myself fall victim to this fear. I’m done letting FOF dictate my choices. I’m interested to know what you all struggle with, if you feel compelled enough to share. Is it FOF masquerading as the less aggressive perfectionism? Procrastination? Fear of other things? Know you’re not alone. This week I’m challenging myself to put content out every day- knowing that not everything will be perfect, but it’s the best I can do. Care to join me in challenging a fear this week, whatever it may be? Feel free to share your story- I’ve been using #outsideofthesquares to open up a little more about what *actually* happens outside of these lovely curated cubes, so feel free to tag along (pun intended) and join me!